I don’t know when I’ll ever go on a first date again. Not to be dramatic about it, but like, the amount of energy and vulnerability it would take to seek out and set up a first date – a FIRST?! DATE?! – is just unfathomable to me right now.
I still wish I could go on one, because, while the worst first dates can be hellish beyond measure, the best first dates are a high like no other. Being on a great first date feels like doing drugs and winning the lottery at the same time – at least, to me. I’m sure at least a few of you find first dates categorically nervewracking and are cringing as you read this, and that’s valid too. I’m just a major slut for romance, chemistry, and connection – and I try to remain optimistic in matters of love, as a basic survival strategy in this bleak grey world, so I always try to believe that another great date could be right around the corner, because it always could.
To that end: I sure do fantasize a lot about first dates. Sometimes at night, when I’m trying to get to sleep, I’ll pick a current crush – from celebrities to social-media mutuals to people I know IRL – and just imagine what a first date with them would be like. It’s an oddly calming little game, seeking and pushing all the pleasure buttons in my own brain to help me sleep.
In your head, you can make a date go any way you want, and can all but ensure that anything you do or say will be well-received. For that reason, in these fantasies I often find myself asking questions I’d be far too shy to ask on a real first date, such as…