8 ways I confront internalized anti-fatness and learn to love my body

Content note: This is a piece about weight, body image, anti-fatness, etc., and as such, it will touch on fat-shaming, calorie-counting, food/dieting, losing and gaining weight, anti-fat bias, etc. If that stuff is tricky or triggering for you (as it is for many of us), feel free to skip this one, in which case, I’m proud of you for knowing what you need and taking care of yourself. 💜

I don’t recall the first time I consciously thought “it’s bad to be fat.” That’s part of the problem, isn’t it? This shit starts early.

I remember my parents fretting about their weight, my dad going on the Bernstein diet, sticking to a regimented and restrictive menu of foods and going in for regular vitamin injections to get the nutrients his food wasn’t giving him. I remember eating cake and ice cream sometimes and feeling vaguely bad about it, the way I felt vaguely bad when I slept in til 1 p.m. or skipped class. I remember billboards and magazines, and my own mirror reflecting a very different image back at me.