About a week ago, I was hanging out at a bar with some friends, and got into a big group conversation about my career. My pals were asking lots of astute questions about my work – but one question in particular, murmured to me as an aside from the larger convo, really stuck with me.

It was from a guy who I don’t know as well as some of the other folks I was talking to, so he was perhaps treading more lightly than my closest friends might. He said the following:

“I’m gonna ask you a question, but it’s kind of a vulnerable question, so I’ll answer it first. And also, if you don’t want to answer it, of course you don’t have to.”

Grinning and fully on-board, I nodded my assent and awaited his question. It turned out to be one I’ve been asked many times before, and have no issue answering, almost regardless of who’s asking: “What’s your favorite sex toy?” But it was remarkable to me that he stayed true to his word, immediately answering the question himself – without going into gratuitous detail about his sex life – before pausing to see if I’d answer it too.