I turned 34 last month, meaning I’m now squarely in my mid-thirties. In my twenties, older and wiser folks would often tell me that sex gets better as you get older, particularly for women. That’s indeed been true for me – the sex I had in my twenties was pretty good, on average, while the sex I’m having now is consistently fantastic. Today I want to tell you some of the ways my sex life is different now from how it was back then – most of which (though not all) are major improvements!

Quality over quantity

Now, don’t get me wrong – it is fully possible to have a sex life that is abundant in both quality and quantity; I learned that in my mid-to-late twenties! But these days I am more tired than I was back then, my chronic illness is worse than it was, and I also know more about the asexual spectrum and where I fit into it. So I don’t have as much sex as I used to, partly because of physical limitations, and partly because I no longer enjoy pursuing sex for sex’s sake. It has to be sex I’m really excited about, with someone I feel really comfortable around, or else I probably don’t want it!

Fewer body image issues