I’m turning 31; here are 5 sex/dating-related skills I think all sexually active adults should have

As I wrote in a song this week, turning 31 (tomorrow, on the 23rd) is making me reflect on all the things I’ve learned, and all the things I still want to learn.

I think boundary-setting of various sorts is one of the most vital skills you can learn as an adult – and most people do learn it when they’re adults, I think, rather than when they’re kids or teenagers, because kids and teenagers are not encouraged to have boundaries. They’re encouraged to do what their parents/guardians/teachers tell them to do, even when they don’t want to. So it makes sense that it takes so many of us decades to learn what we should have been taught from the very beginning: that our bodies and minds are our own, that we have the right to speak up when we’re being mistreated, and that we ought to have some say in the parameters of our own lives.