Is polyamory "more evolved" than monogamy?

Polyamory has been getting more and more mainstream media attention these last few years, which unfortunately means that us polyamorists have needed to go on the defensive. And, predictably, this has meant that some polyamorists revert to tired old pro-poly arguments that don’t really hold much water, if you ask me.

Since my first forays into polyamory, and long before that (I’m sure), there have been people who argue – sometimes quite persuasively! – that polyamory is better than monogamy. Not better for individual people, not better for certain situations, but just better, across the board.

These people will often evoke evolutionary psychology arguments, claiming that because bonobos are slutty, humans are naturally wired to be slutty too, and that this means polyamory is somehow simultaneously the most evolved relationship structure and the relationship structure that is truest to our evolutionary roots. (Make it make sense!)

I understand where these people are coming from, particularly as polyamory continues to receive waves of public pushback every time a new article comes out mocking our happiness. I just think there are stronger arguments to be made.