I took some time off playing The Sims recently, not because I got bored of the endless shenanigans you can pull in that game, but because my computer had started to get too slow to comfortably run it. Passing time with your Sims just isn’t as fun when even the 3x speed-up function moves at a snail’s crawl.
But then I got myself a new computer (for almost entirely non-Sims-related reasons) and re-downloaded the game and all the expansion packs, and it’s been sorta nice to reconnect with the side of myself that can glance at the clock after a hyper-focused Sims session and realize it’s somehow 4:37 a.m. all of a sudden.
One thing I’ve noticed, in my hours of making up for lost time this week, is that sexual orientation exists in The Sims now. Apparently it was patched into the base game just a few days ago. As soon as I saw new interaction options like “Ask about WooHoo preferences” (WooHoo is the Sims universe’s word for sex), I realized they’d implemented an orientation feature and I immediately wanted to know everything about it, so I started googling. Let’s talk about what I discovered, and whether it seems like an accurate model of human sexuality.
There are three parameters that the game offers in terms of who your Sim will be attracted to. One is WooHoo orientation, i.e. sexual orientation. Another is romantic orientation. I find this astonishing and delightful, given that most of the population still seems to have trouble wrapping its head around the notion of these two things being separate from each other. It’s one of the reasons, for instance, that some bisexuals feel like they’re not “bi enough” to claim the label if they are attracted to multiple genders sexually but just one romantically, or vice-versa.
The third parameter is whether your Sim is “exploring romantically.” If they are, they’ll be open to Sims of any gender flirting with them. If they’re not “exploring,” they’ll automatically get mad or uncomfortable when flirted with by someone of a gender they’re not attracted to.
Sims are all pansexual and panromantic by default, which makes sense, given that the game is designed to give players as close to total control as possible over their Sims’ lives. You can edit a Sim’s orientations on the Create-a-Sim screen.
I think, broadly speaking, that all of this is basically right. Obviously it’s an oversimplification (especially since the game currently only supports two genders), but it is certainly true that some people’s sexual orientation doesn’t match their romantic one, and it’s also true that some people are more open to romantic and sexual experimentation than others.
One thing that this model doesn’t address is the ways our self-identifications can be swayed over the years, by people we meet, experiences we have, or just the changes that occur with aging. There was an earlier version of The Sims that caused Sims to move further along the sexual orientation spectrum in the direction of whoever had flirted with them the most, so that if, say, a woman was repeatedly hit on or kissed by another woman, she would get gayer and gayer with each interaction. (Relatable.) While that system certainly wasn’t reflective of everyone’s experiences either, I do think it captures our potential for sexual fluidity in a unique way.
Some of us, though, are swayed not toward greater openness but rather, toward monosexuality. It’s not at all unheard of for a formerly self-identified bisexual or pansexual person to come to see themselves more as straight or as gay later in life. Sometimes this is because they realize they were kidding themselves with that earlier label; sometimes it’s because their patterns of attraction actually, tangibly change. Of course, if you had a particular story arc in mind along these lines for one of your Sims, you could always go in and edit their orientation yourself – but that doesn’t feel very realistic.
Because, well… in real life, sexual orientation isn’t editable. You don’t get to click on the one you want and hit the “Save” button on your brain. So far as we can tell from current science, basically you get what you get. Some people are more sexually fluid than others, but even fluidity itself isn’t strictly a choice – as evidenced by the countless people who wish they were more open to intimate possibilities but can’t simply will a different orientation into being.
I think it would up the ante in terms of difficulty, surprise, and realism if every Sim was randomly assigned sexual and romantic orientations from birth which couldn’t be changed once the Sim was created. But then again, it’s a game, and games are meant to be escapist. Maybe it’s nice to envision a world where – as in The Sims – there is no homophobia, no biphobia, and no barriers to being exactly who you want to be*, whether it’s the way you were born or, instead, something you chose all by yourself.
*Except if you're nonbinary, apparently.