I love movies. Always have. My mom was an entertainment reporter the whole time I was growing up, so I watched “adult” movies (not porn… although, that too) even when I was too young to reasonably be doing so. I was 8 when I saw Cast Away, for example. Who takes an 8-year-old to see Cast Away?! My mom, that’s who. Because she intuited, correctly, that I would love it.
Anyway, one of the best and weirdest things about movies is the sex scenes they sometimes contain. Here is an incomplete list of movies I think should’ve had some fuckin’ in them. (Caution: there are spoilers in here for every movie mentioned!)
Cast Away (2000)
Okay, so, while we’re talking about it… I want to know everything about Tom Hanks’ character’s masturbation habits when he’s stuck on the island. Early in the film, we see him sharing passionate intimacy with his girlfriend Kelly in kisses, slow-dances, and gift exchanges, and I have to imagine their sexual connection is A+ too. So surely he jerked off thinking of her a lot when he was alone and stranded? He’s even got a photograph of her to use as wank fodder. Frankly I don’t expect that this would be a happy or sexy scene – probably more like “morosely masturbating while weeping in a cave” – but it would certainly help deepen his character and further illustrate his plight.