It’s funny how the things you read as a youth can continue to affect you for the rest of your life. One such resource for me was Gala Darling’s blog, the entire archive of which I devoured when I was 15. It changed my brain forever; those old blog posts are still a massive influence on my personal style, my writing, and my general approach to life, almost 20 years later.

There are many Gala passages which I could dorkily quote verbatim from memory, but one I want to talk about today is a blog post she wrote about kissing in 2007. At the time, I had never kissed anyone, so I was eager to absorb her advice on the subject. In a section about locations and positions, she wrote:

“I’m quite small so I like to crawl into people’s laps & sit opposite them. This way they are TRAPPED & can’t escape until my lips are satisfied! I am sneaky like that.”

Given her usual tongue-in-cheek tone, it’s safe to assume that Gala was referring to doing this consensually! But I think the way she described this position appealed to me as a young kinkster, although I didn’t know yet that I was kinky. A power dynamic was implied by the position itself, which thrilled me even if I didn’t yet realize why. I think I also liked the image of boldly taking initiative as a woman, something I definitely didn’t have the confidence to do just yet, but wanted to grow into.