If you told me, when I first started noodling around on computers at age 8 (already a sex nerd, already entranced by text-based instructional masturbation websites) that typing words into a computer of sorts would one day register to me as Having Sex, I doubt I would have believed you. I mean, I wouldn’t have entirely understood what you were saying… but if I had, I wouldn’t have believed you.
I was interviewed for this Guardian piece about sexting recently, and it got me thinking about the role sexting plays in my life. I have a folder on my phone, not-so-creatively entitled “sexxxty,” containing screenshots of good sexts I’ve received over the years, intermingled with (of course) the occasional languid nude selfie and solicited dick pic from beaux of yore. Here are some of my favorite sexts I’ve received, and what made them so great…
“My favorite toy is your mouth.” -a then-fuckbuddy in April 2016 upon being asked what sex toys I should bring to the threesome we were planning with my best friend
This is a prime example of how hyperbole in sexts sometimes works a treat. Was this man’s favorite sex toy really my mouth? No. We both knew he possessed a decent-sized collection of stimulating accoutrements, crowding his nightstand and outing him as a sex nerd (hence, um, planning a threesome with both hosts of a podcast called The Dildorks). But did it make me feel good to hear him say this (or, rather, to read it on a screen)? Sure did.