…is to pay attention to what they do, not what they say.
I give this advice often – to friends, to readers, to anyone who’s unsure whether their crush is into them – because it’s one of the truest things I know about relationships. You’ve heard it a zillion times before, because it’s simply the case, not just in the realm of crushes but in many other realms as well: Actions speak louder than words.
The trouble with this advice in a romantic context, however – and really, the trouble with any advice about sex and relationships – is that it’s not universally applicable. There are definitely reasons why someone might act like they don’t like you, when actually they do. Maybe they are trying to play it cool. Maybe their phone is malfunctioning. Maybe they are very busy with professional or personal obligations at the moment. Maybe they’ve got a complicated situation going on with a recent ex and they want to breathe for a sec before pursuing someone new. Maybe they struggle with answering messages in a timely way because of ADHD, depression, or other chronic conditions. Maybe they just have no game whatsoever and don’t know how to demonstrate their interest. (I have definitely been guilty of that!)
But by and large, it has been my experience that if someone is into you, there will be signs – and those signs will be most easily spotted in their behavior, not their words.