The world is on fire – DM your crush

Unprecedented times call for unprecedented measures. We’re seeing that all around us right now: protests spilling through streets, unionization efforts, grassroots healthcare initiatives. When times are especially bad, you have to do more things that are especially good in order to counteract that.

The same is true in our romantic and sexual lives, too. We must throw our cards on the table more brazenly and boldly than ever before – at least, if our goal is to continue to forge and deepen our connections to other human beings, at a time when human connection is more politically and personally important than ever.

But let me back up a sec, because this piece is actually about how I DMed a cute boy about a horror movie 5 months ago and now we talk every day.

I have spent a lot of these pandemic times daydreaming about intimacy but doing little to actually achieve it. (Maybe you can relate?) Outside of my safe and splendid relationship with my spouse, I’ve found it harder and harder to connect with people on a romantic or sexy level in recent years, for a tangled web of reasons, including COVID concerns, mental health struggles, and the lingering sting of past rejections. I’ve met a few cool people and been on a few nice dates, but mostly I’ve felt too tense and guarded to really let anybody in. My hopes for new romance receded into placid daydreams, which felt safer and more plausible than any real-life attempt to connect with someone new. Sad, but true!