A reader asked: “What were your favorite new acquisitions in 2024? Purchases, gifts, etc.”
Oh, you have inquired about one of my favorite subjects: THINGS!! Items. Objects. Possessions. Love ‘em. I am a product of my time, unfortunately, and my time is consumerist as fuck.
That being said, a lot of these objects have tangibly improved my life in ways that go far beyond just “Ooh, pretty!” Let’s talk about ‘em.
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Fashion & beauty
Black smooth leather 1490 Doc Martens – I just bought these recently and am in love. They make every outfit feel more in line with my queer hard-femmeness, and they hearken back to decades of subcultural & countercultural history. I’m a long-time Docs stan and these are already one of my fave pairs I’ve owned, hellish break-in process be damned!
Kate Spade Razzle Dazzle earrings – These are so fancy! Every time I put them on, I feel like I’ve got little disco balls hanging from my ears – like I’m bringing a party with me everywhere I go! Because of having chronic illness/fatigue, I’m partial to any fashion/beauty item that can immediately upgrade my look with minimal effort required – and these earrings, like a great red lipstick, do that fabulously.
Unicorn Collaborators pink leather heart earrings – The Unicorn Collaborators make some of my favorite leather kink gear, but catch ‘em at an event like the upcoming Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair and you’ll often be able to buy stuff they don’t sell online (yet?), like these earrings. I’ve worn them countless times since buying them, because they go with a lot of my wardrobe and also make me feel like I have gauged earlobes, which I’ve always thought were hot-looking but scary to contemplate actually getting 😂
Yves Saint Laurent Nu Lip & Cheek Balmy Tint – After barely updating my makeup application techniques for over a decade, this past year I decided to step into the ‘now’ and learn how the Gen Z’ers are doing their makeup… and it turns out, they’re way more into cream products than us staunchly matte-faced millennials ever were! Dewiness became my new beauty goal, and one of my best purchases to that end was this cool-toned red cream blush, which I blend onto my cheeks with (clean) fingers. It’s perfect and I use it constantly!
Julie Mollo Magic Wand clutch bags – The talented and delightful Julie Mollo was on duty at the Museum of Sex event where we launched my Magic Wand podcast, and she was making custom glittery Magic Wand clutches – OMG! I already had a small white and blue one with my name on it, which Julie’d made for me as a holiday gift from the Magic Wand team the previous year, but at the museum event she also made me a teal one that’s large enough to store my Magic Wand Rechargeable in. I keep these bags displayed in my room when I’m not using them and they brighten up the whole space with their sparkly cartoonishness.
Writing, tech, & work
Mechanical keyboards – My #1 favorite tech acquisition of the year was my Epomaker Galaxy80 keyboard, which I customized with Holy Panda switches on the alphanumerical keys, Akko Cream Blue switches on the modifier keys, and pastel keycaps from Drop, plus I added a custom volume knob. This keyboard makes me happy every day, because it feels good, sounds great, and types well. I also have a smaller, nearly-silent keyboard that I use when I’m podcasting or doing other activities that require quiet – it’s a KeebMonkey KBM68Pro with Akko Fairy and Penguin switches and turquoise keycaps.
reMarkable 2 – As a birthday gift back in April, my spouse bought me a reMarkable 2, which is a tablet for writing/note-taking. It uses e-ink, the same technology found in e-readers, and can sync your longhand or typed writing across multiple devices. I’ve loved using it this year for wide-open brainstorming tasks (like the beginning of the songwriting process) or for anything where I want the sensual immediacy of longhand writing but need to be able to quickly convert the writing into useable digital text afterward. It’s super useful, and also pretty flat and light, making it a good travel companion.
Leuchtturm1917 A6 ruled notepad – I told you recently about how much I love taking notes in this notebook during conversations; I also have it across my lap whenever I watch movies or TV shows these days, so I can get my thoughts down quickly in the moment. It’s great for emotional processing and also leaves me with a repository of ideas to draw from when I want to write an essay (for this newsletter, say!) or a song or whatever else. Why this particular notepad? It’s portably compact but not uselessly tiny, its hardcover construction keeps my notes safe even when it’s banging around at the bottom of a backpack all day, its paper is sinfully smooth, and it comes in a variety of fun colors, most notably this utterly cheerifying shade of lemon yellow. Obsessed. (Should I go navy next, or pink?)
Lamy Safari pens – Some of Lamy’s limited-edition runs this year included a teal and yellow Safari (which perfectly matches my notebook above) as well as a pink and red one. I own them both now and I love them so much. They write smoothly, clip onto notebooks’ elastic straps easily, and have a somewhat deranged kindergarten-y aesthetic that I love.
Bailey Hikawa phone case – After seeing someone else rocking one at a conference in Portland, I bought myself a raspberry-pink Geta case from designer Bailey Hikawa, whose whole thing is making weird, sculptural phone cases (and toilet seats, oddly enough). It’s enormously helpful for me, because my hands are often achy/stiff/weak from fibro, and this case helps me distribute the weight of the phone across all my fingers, instead of just my pinkie, for a more comfortable grip. It works as a phone stand at a few different angles, too.
Leatherology measuring tape – I hated my old tape measure; it was made by a weight loss company and probably sent as a free sample with some vitamins I ordered years ago or something. As a sex toy reviewer, I use a tape measure on a near-daily basis, so it sucked that I would feel annoyed, aggravated, and (on mentally shaky days) low-key triggered every time I looked at mine! So I bought myself a fancy red leather one in a Leatherology sale. Now, every time I need to measure something, I’m reminded not of the moral crimes of the predatory diet industry, but instead, of the value of self-care and treating yourself!
Bronze Signal Award trophy – I guess I’d be remiss not to mention the big ol’ trophy sitting on my bookshelf that was sent to me when my podcast miniseries won a bronze Signal Award this past year. It’s displayed amongst copies of my books and the dildo I designed, reminding me of my achievements. It’s shiny as fuck and I love it!
Sex toys (more here)
Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen – Some of my best orgasms of the year happened with this clit stimulator. It oscillates, rather than vibrating, so the sensations are more profound than standard vibration. (Love that the Pulse Queen matches my Nintendo Switch perfectly, too.)
Solina realistic dildos – I’ve been recommending these constantly lately, because they’re hyper-realistic, dual-density silicone dildos at great prices. Whenever I wanted to get railed by a dick while there were no appealing dicks in sight this past year, I reached for one of these (I have… too many of them now, haha), and it always did the trick.
Mr. Hankey’s Captain’s Hook dildo – If they ever make a sex robot designed specifically to fuck the hell outta your G-spot, its dick should be shaped like this. Yeesh.
We-Vibe Wand 2 – Best new toy of the year. A strong, rumbly, waterproof, dependable wand vibe. Simply a triumph. *chef’s kiss*
What were some of your favorite objects in these categories this year? Feel free to hit ‘reply’ and let me know!