My inbox is habitually full of PR reps pitching their latest “libido-boosting” product. Supplements. Gels. Exercise regimens. CBD-infused soft drinks. Whatever.
The thing about “boosting one’s libido” is that the reasons for having a low sex drive in the first place are often not directly addressable with a product. I think this is especially true for anyone subject to systemic stress and oppression – women, trans people, people of color, etc. – and I also think it is especially true during a globally traumatic event like a pandemic. In many cases, it’s not a physical issue causing your libido to dwindle (although you could certainly check with your doctor just incase). No, I think most libido issues arise from our psychology. Stress. Trauma. Relationship tensions. Culturally-instilled body insecurities. Gender anxiety. You get the picture.
With that in mind, here’s a list of products that actually boost my libido…
A sleep mask and earplugs. Not necessarily for sensory deprivation play, although that too – but mainly I just use these to sleep better. When you sleep longer and more deeply, you have more energy, you’re less irritable with partners or potential partners, and you’re operating at a higher level in terms of mental and emotional processing. For me, this all means that when I’m sleeping well, I have better sex, and am able to enjoy it more. I think that makes sleep a worthy thing to invest in. (For the record, my favorite sleep mask is the Nidra Deep Rest, and I use Mack’s slim-fit soft foam earplugs.)