I have always had intrusive thoughts about crushes, have always gotten people stuck in my head the way I get songs stuck in my head: they loop for days on end, maddening, all-consuming.
I’ve often wondered if there is a neurological basis for this, possibly having to do with dopamine. I’ve wondered this even more since reading neurologist Oliver Sacks’ book Musicophilia, which details (among other nerdy musical brain-science anecdotes) a number of cases in which certain brain injuries resulted in far more persistent and annoying musical “earworms.” I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a brain injury, but perhaps it’s a wiring problem. Who knows.
What I can tell you is that it gets very annoying at times. In the throes of it, I often find it difficult to think, let alone get any work done. I’ll become more interested in obsessively googling my crush, or posting hot selfies I hope they’ll enjoy, than doing anything of real value or purpose. I concoct absurd fantasies and replay them incessantly, automatically, in my mind. I’ll lose sleep staring at my phone or listening to podcasts the person has guested on or scrawling in my journal about how sad it is that I’ll never get to kiss them. I've been doing versions of this, on-and-off, for about 20 years.
But I am a big believer in working WITH one’s natural tendencies, not against them, whenever possible. There are a few ways I channel this obsessive energy into actual productivity and other positive outcomes.