Stereotypically, women are often depicted as having a hard time separating sex from love, or as needing romantic love to be present in order to enjoy sex. Obviously this is hugely reductive – not only are there many women who don’t fit this description, but there are many men who do!
That being said, personally I do experience a high degree of overlap between people I’m sexually attracted to and those I’m romantically attracted to. For the most part, a lot of the same traits prompt both sexual and romantic interest for me – humor, intelligence, kindness, competence, enthusiasm, etc. – and so, if I have a crush on you, it’s statistically likeliest to be a crush of the “I want to kiss you and hold your hand and make sappy commitments to you and also fuck you” variety.
But that’s not always the case.
I’m thinking about this because I’ve recently gone out for drinks with a long-time fuckbuddy of mine, who is one of the only people in my sexual history who I’ve felt very physically attracted to but not really romantically attracted to. We’re actual friends with benefits, emphasis on the “friends,” so we get along well on a mental/emotional level and have great conversations – but I don’t find myself daydreaming about his smile, or obsessively wondering when he’ll text me back, or choosing outfits for our hangouts that I hope will impress him. When we make out or have sex, it’s always great – we definitely vibe sexually – but those telltale signs (for me) of romantic feelings are just not there. He’s really just my friend who I occasionally fuck, and I think we both like it that way.