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The best part of our dates was the noodles with peanut sauce I’d buy afterwards

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March 26, 2023
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The erotics (?) of stalking

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March 19, 2023
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How I review sex toys

With several sex toy reviews on my docket at the moment, and my 11-year-anniversary of being a sex toy reviewer happening this month, I’m thinking a lot about the actual process of how I review toys. It has changed somewhat over the years, and I feel like I’m in a good place with it – I’m not always thrilled to turn masturbation into work or to risk ruining my own orgasms with bad toys, sure, but at least I know how to do those things well now!

Here are some notes on the process I use to review toys, from start to finish. A lot of this process is informed by the fact that I have a chronic illness and am tired/in pain all the time, plus I have many other obligations besides sex toy reviewing, so I can’t do what I used to do at age 19 and test + review a toy almost immediately after receiving it.

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March 10, 2023
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“Doing it the natural way” is kinda bullshit

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March 5, 2023
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I tried sexting with an AI; here’s how it went

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February 25, 2023
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A list of things I’ve taken away from past relationships that were arguably better than the relationships themselves

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February 19, 2023
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What I’ve learned from 5 years of being collared

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February 12, 2023
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On being the messy girl at the party

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February 5, 2023
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Do crushes ever really go away?

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January 29, 2023
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Zen and the art of leather care

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January 19, 2023
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Give me the green light

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January 15, 2023
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Here’s what I’d do with the random products that get pitched to me in my inbox

Because sex journalism is still fairly niche, and because sex coverage in general is usually done by reporters who have a range of other “beats” (dating, health, beauty, etc.), I often receive press releases that have nothing to do with the topics I actually write about. I imagine these PR people are reaching out to me simply because of the publications where I’ve had bylines – GQ, SELF, Insider, etc. – and assuming that if I write about sex toys for those places, I must write about other stuff for them too, which actually isn’t the case. These days, sex toys are my beat, and I almost never venture beyond them in the writing I do for publications.

I used to fret about being offered “press samples” by these companies. I would show my spouse these emails and tremulously say, “But what if I ask them to send me the purse/shoes/piano they’re promoting and then they get mad that I don’t write about it for any big outlets?” – to which my spouse always says, “If they’re offering a purse/shoes/piano to a journalist who only writes about sex toys, that’s on them. They should’ve done better research on the people they were contacting.”

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January 5, 2023
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The zen of sadomasochism

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December 31, 2022
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Fine dining is a kink scene

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December 18, 2022
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8 reasons I would never break up with someone for having a small dick

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December 10, 2022
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Why my dick-rating skills are a 0/10

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December 3, 2022
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A list of criteria for being on my Close Friends list on Instagram

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November 25, 2022
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Why are there so many sex cults, and what can we do about it?

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November 17, 2022
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4 times I embarrassed myself by writing a song about someone

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November 12, 2022
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Sex & alcohol: a complicated combo

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November 6, 2022
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